Holy Moly!

Don't really know what holy moly means but I think it means, "dang my kids are so adorable my heart stops every time I look at them!"

Emery was rescued, or I was rescued, or whatever by Benji's mom yesterday so that I could pack for the week at the beach and simultaneously get ready for our house to be deep cleaned for 10 HOURS on Saturday....aaaahhhh!

Really I'm super excited about the guy that is coming to clean and it is a GREAT price for what he is doing. BUUUTTT There is a lot to do before someone comes in to clean like he is going to clean.

Add on top of that that Jesse hasn't been feeling well so that made for one stressful day on Thursday.

Today has been so quiet though! I really miss Emery tonight. She talks non stop. Seriously, I don't know if people who have never had a 2 year old daughter would understand how much they talk, and ask questions and want to know every minor detail about every stinking thing.

It IS adorable and she keeps me laughing all the time. At the end of the day though I am wiped slap out just from talking! haha. Emery is my precious special girl and I love being her mom so much. She adores Jesse, so much so that she is in his face constantly! She wants him to go wherever we go.

But I have been thankful for the break and thankful for the time I have gotten to spend with Jesse. He is feeling so much better and hopefully we will all have a great time at summer camp with the youth next week.

It's funny, last year right before summer camp I had just found out that I was pregnant with Jesse! Now he is here and is about to go for his first time to camp. I can't imagine my life without him and I am so so so thankful the Lord saw fit to bless us with a son. There is something so precious about a mother's son. The way he melts my heart is unexplainable. I am one blessed mama.

When In Doubt, Blog

Did I share this picture already?

My brain is mush. I don't know if it will ever return to normal.

These are my small group girls who are...well, did graduate this year! So sad. :( I will miss them so much!

Jesse has ear infection numero 4.

We need to drive to Gainesville tomorrow to drop off Benji's truck so it can get fixed so we can sell it.

I have to pack, which means I have to do laundry, which means I shouldn't be on this computer...so that we will be clothed while we are at summer camp with the youth next week.

Sorry...I got detoured by a phone call, a two year old who HAD to have her toenails painted, her hair braided AND her ponies hair braided.

I also need to throw stuff O.U.T. so that the guy that is going to deep clean my house on Saturday can actually get in my house.

I need to watch the DVD lesson we are teaching in Small groups on Sunday morning so that I can lead the discussion on Sunday, before we leave for Gainesville that afternoon to head to summer camp.

I need to find Jesse a bathing suit. For some reason they are all sold out all...over....town.... which I dashed around last night trying to score one. I failed.

But, instead of doing all these things I need to do I am blogging. Cheap therapy.

Lovely Day

Today I turned 33! I look back and can not possibly be this old! I feel like I just turned 21 yesterday. But I am here at 33, with 2 adorable, beautiful babies, a husband who is my greatest companion and a life I dreamed about. I couldn't ask for more! How blessed I have been these 33 years.

We spent the day together. Emery and Benji went to church while Jesse and I stayed home because he spiked a fever on Friday night.

For my birthday Emery picked out these adorable purple, blue and orange flowers, they are real but the water is turning purple hahaha! I love anything Emery picks out for me. She also picked out a Barbie princess card that said "happy birthday daughter" but Benji just crossed out daughter and wrote mama. It was the perfect card from Emery, pink and glittery and all girl.

Benji knows how stressed out I have been about trying to get this house as clean as I need it to function. (I word it like that because I realize there are different degrees of clean for everyone) anyway, he has someone coming this week to deep clean my house! How thoughtful and amazing! My mom got us a great patio umbrella for us to enjoy so that Jesse can join us on the porch with out being in the direct sun. I also got to get my hair highlighted and cut on Friday.

We celebrated Father's day with lunch a Wild Wings, which I didn't mind at all ( I love me some wings gurl). Benji and Emery have spent much of the weekend out by her pool.

I realize tonight that this is the last weekend for a loong loong while that we will all be home as a family. Summer has officially hit us and we will be here and there for the rest of June and July.

My Week In Review

Woahhh! I have mucho news to share here!

Jesse has finally started making it from around 11pm until 630am...then from about 7am until 10am. Which I call sleeping through the night! A few nights have been hit and miss this week, but I think he is getting into schedule of making all night.

Emery also decided this week that she was ready to go pee and poop on the potty. Praise the LORDDDD!!! Seriously, I didn't realize how much this was stressing me out until she did it this week. I feel so much better! I have known for awhile that she was ready I just couldn't get her to do it! Well this week she decided that whatever reward we were offering was good enough for her to submit to our demands...ha!

She has to be able to go, wipe and pull up her pants all by herself by the time she starts K3 in August. Well her birthday is July, 31st so alot of kids have had a while longer to perfect the art of pottying...haha. I am just glad we have the rest of the summer to get it together before she goes to school.

I can say that I am soo so proud of her! all my accomplishments in the past pale in comparison to potty training my child! ha!

This week brings father's day and my birthday. Every 7 years or so my birthday falls on father's day. This year we are celebrating father's day for Benji on Saturday and my birthday on Sunday.

I told Benji all I wanted this year was a clean house and for us to all be home as a family. So we started cleaning tonight and hopefully will be done by Sunday.

He also got me 2 tomato plants. It's kind of late to be planting tomatoes but they already had some fruit on them and they were on sale, so we planted them to see what we get. It stays hot here so long that I think they will give us some good tomatoes for awhile.

I went and got my hair did again today, my birthday gift from my mama. She, my sister and nephew came up yesterday to hang out and go to lunch. Emery and Asher have such a great time playing together.

If Ya don't know by now, my sister takes amazing pictures. Basically any pictures that look professional are either taken by my sis or by one of my friends. I usually only take pictures with my phone, Which is good and bad.... anyway. We had a great time with them, I only wish we lived closer!

My Twins

Benji and I laugh all the time that out of all the genetic possibilities, out of all the facial characteristics that our kids could have gotten, they turned out looking exactly alike!

It's amazing to me how dominate some features are.

One thing is for sure I hit the jack pot when I chose Benji as my partner in procreation! ha! We make some adorable babies.

Summer Days

Okay back to life here! Wheww! I am so glad I decided to share my last two posts.

I have gotten over a dozen messages and emails from friends who have struggled, silently with the same thing.

Any hoo. We have been mucho busy since "summer" hit. I realize it's not even technically summer for a few more weeks but it's been in the high 90's for two weeks here. So I say we are deep into summertime.

Tuesday mornings I am doing a bible study that will last 11 weeks, it just so happens that when we went for our first session this week, Emery's MMO teacher is keeping the kids during the bible study! Such a blessing because we LOVE Miss Nancy and I'm so glad Emery gets a few more weeks with her.

Wednesday we hit the library for story time, usually we have friends that meet us there so we hit up the local sub shop that has free kids meals on Tuesdays. We get home just in time for nap, holla!

Thursday is park day. Emery has a friend that she met in MMO this year that she ADORES. We met her last week for a play date at the park. She had a blast and I also had a great time meeting her Mama. It was refreshing to meet a new friend and someone that doesn't go to our church or run in my usual circle. I haven't met a complete stranger in so long is was fun to learn more about them. We will definitely have more play dates with them this summer, I can't tell you how much Emery loves this sweet little girl, she talks about her every day.

Mondays we will hang out around the house and hit the grocery if we need. Friday Benji's off work so the few Fridays that he is actually home this summer we will hang with him.

Thank goodness we found things to do this summer, Jesse is soooo good, just hangs out and comes along for the ride. I've felt bad for him sweating in that car seat these past few days. It has been so so hot!

This Tuesday night Benji had a deacons meeting, which usually last way long. I usually dread the monthly deacons meeting because it means the kids don't see daddy all day and that means a long day for me. Anyway this week one of my friends who's husband is a deacon rounded up a bunch of us deacon/pastor wives (the one's with small kids) and we all met at Chickfila for dinner and to let the kiddos run a muck in the play area.

Well Emery took her pants off for some reason???

And they also had face painting. Hence the unicorn on my baby dolls cheek.

Great night of fun for kids and Mamas!

Everyone knows that play dates are for the Moms right?

By Definition

I'm not defined by my weaknesses, just as I'm not defined by my strengths.

I am thankfully, gracefully a child of God.

That is how I'm defined.

"My heart and my flesh fail. But the Lord is my strength and my portion forever."

Thank goodness!

My PPD has, with both babies, manifested itself through social anxiety. Which is ironic since I am normally such a social and extroverted person.

Some may misconceive PPD as not loving your kids, or not wanting the babies. That is just not true. We've all seen the severe cases of Post partum Psychosis played out on national news, but that is an entirely different illness.

My issues are with all the other people out there! haha! If I could stay locked up in my house with just Benji, Emery and Jesse I'd be great.

But our life doesn't run like that. I've got to go places and interact with people.

So, there's a little more clarification.

I'm not jumping off any bridges. Okay. Just wishing some others would! (Joke people)

I've received so many messages, emails from other girls that have gone through the same thing. I KNEW there were more like me out there.

It is such a shame that women can't talk about their weaknesses. Why do we all have to run around acting like we have it all together, when NONE OF US DO!???

Now with all that said, I hope to move on from all this deep talk.

My biggest concern right now is how will Emery ever potty in public because her hiney is so small she will fall right through without her little Dora potty seat.

Am I just suppose to carry that around every where we go?