Joy and Grief During the Holidays

Last week Benji's grandmother, Dosie passed away.

We scurried around to pack, clean, pay some bills and threw the kids in the car for an unexpected trip home.

Ever since my Dad died the holidays have been tricky. Once I had babies of course the days surrounding the holiday season became joyful again, full of life.

 But last week I was reminded again of how hard the holidays are for some. It is just so evident when everyone is sitting around on Christmas morning or at the Christmas meal...that ONE person is missing.

I am thankful that I now have Emery and Jesse to watch experience the joy of the season. This is the first year Emery has been excited about Santa bringing presents. I can not WAIT until the morning we will celebrate here.

  I seriously can not even remember where December went. Or November for that matter. Life has just been speeding by so fast. Jesse has 4 teeth now. He is crawling everywhere. Definitely more active than Emery was. He keeps me on my toes for sure. I am constantly balancing chasing him around the house and trying to entertain Emery.

Benji has been working long, hard hours at work this time of year. It seems every season is busier than the last in the ministry. I love it. I love being able to invest in young people's lives but sometimes I just miss my husband and the father of my kids. I wish he could be home more but am thankful for his job and the impact he is making.

I have so many blog post ideas running through my head all the time. At the end of the day, once I get the kids in bed I am just too tired to even think about completing a sentence!

As crazy as things are around this time of year I actually feel like i'm finally getting a grip back on my life. I swear it takes me an entire year to recover from pregnancy and having a new baby. Jesse is SOO fun now! And of course Emery has always been hilarious. She keeps us laughing for sure.

 We are all four finally (hopefully) finding our groove as a family. I have to say I am looking forward to the new year. I always love the promise of a fresh start, new beginings...can't wait to celebrate Christmas with my family but I am also looking forward to 2012 rolling in!