Almost A Month!

I can't believe it has almost been a month since I posted last. Things have been crazy. Benji was in Brazil for 10 days, home for two, then we headed off to the beach for vacation. We went back to Florida this year, after a few years of the Beach in South Carolina. It was a welcome change and the water was beautiful and sand so white. 

This year my Birthday and father's day came while we were at the beach. I couldn't have thought of a better way to spend the two days! Benji played golf and I went shopping.  

The day I dropped Benji off at the airport to head off for Brazil, I found out we are expecting baby number 3! Talk about an emotional day. 

I am still pretty early in the first trimester, due around February 19th. We are so excited and thankful for the opportunity to welcome another member into our family. 

Of course once we got home we hit the ground running. The kids were exhausted after playing hard all week in the sun and water. It took them an entire week of sleeping late to catch up. 

We have been busy with pool parties and summer bible studies with the youth. We've TRIED to catch up on house duties, laundry, yard work, paying bills, grocery shopping and washing NASTY cars! 

I can't believe how fast the summer is going. Emery will be starting Pre K4 before too long and we will be finding out whether or not she gets a sister or another brother. :) 

Here are a few pictures from the beach. May post a few more later. 

Shiny, Happy, Church Photo!

Aren't we adorbs??? Seriously I was so stressed out that night. No telling how many Xanax I "forgot" I already took.

I was SOOOO nervous that the kids would be horrible. But as you can see.

They were GREAT!

This is actually our first "family" photo not done by a friend who happens to be a photographer.

It's a little stuffy for my taste, A little to "JC Pennys" BUT I am glad we have it and I know I will be glad we have it years down the road.

When I look at it I just overflow with gladness in my heart for my family. With Thankfulness at how far the LORD has brought us and where he has planted us.

I'm honest (duh) this new chapter of my life as mommy and pastor's wife has been WAAAAYYYY more challenging than I expected.

Don't read that wrong. I signed up for it. I surrendered to ministry....on my own terms, before I met Benji. I knew I would be in ministry.

I also always knew I'd have kids. We want more kids, and more kids. Biological and Adopted.

I am one blessed woman. But it has been a hard 3 1/2 years for me. I feel like I'm just getting the hang of it. There is no rule book on how to be the wife of a youth pastor, help him minister, while simultaneously raising your own two, three, four, little "mission fields" that you have birthed.

I feel like sometimes I am caught in a constant battle between wanting to do everything I can with Benji in his ministry, to feeling guilty for sticking my kids down in day care for another "church event".....

I know my primary role in this season of my life is first and for most to raise my babies, my own "youth"...

But honestly, something that has caught me my surprise is how LONELY I am.

Really!????

I have a great group of girl friends/ a group that I have actually prayed to find for a long time. I know that I can (b/c I have haha) call anyone of the group up at any time and spill my guts about whatever.

But it just seems like so many days are so lonely in the house with the kids. I LOVE interacting with them, Emery talks like a 12 year old anyway. I just miss day to day adult interaction. I really did not expect that.

Any one else struggle with that same issue? Is it just SAHM's? or is is all moms?

OR IS IT JUST ME!!!!?????

Days Like These

 Today. I needed.

Benji's mom came up for two days while Benji's dad was at a children's camp not too far away from us. Emery and Jesse are worn out!!! Which is wonderful! I love when they can have full days and fall asleep easy at night.

Today at church was Senior Sunday. The seniors who were involved with our church get to walk in and be recognized during our services. They play a video of when they were babies and everyone cries and every year it makes me realize how short the time is I have with little babies.

I needed today. I needed to be reminded that the time is so fleeting. That the hours creep by but the years fly by.

I'll need to remember this when I'm holding down the fort while Benji is in Brazil.

I LOVE my family so so much. Every day I am so blessed to have a healthy marriage. A ministry with my husband that I can participate in.... thriving, healthy children, who WEAR ME OUT, but give me so much joy..... I give all the GLORY to GOD. I certainly deserve none of this.

This weekend, I needed and I am so thankful for our place in life at this moment.

God Bless America

MY MAN IS GOING TO BE HOME FOR 3 DAYS STRAIGHT!

What am I going to do??? Last weekend I saw him for like 4 hours.

This weekend I am soaking up the extra help and having lunch with a young woman who graduated out of our high school youth program last year and just finished up her first year at college.

I can't wait for a little break break from my marathon Stay at home mommying. I haven't left the house since Sunday.

This is his Law and Order  BDU (Biblical Defense Unit) promotion picture for church.   How serious! 

Food Budget Update

Welllll......we've been/ I've been doing pre-tty good.

Somedays are harder than others. The days that I want to "cook" something special, want to run to the grocery and buy ingredients. I don't. I use what I have, to cook something that is acceptable for us all.

I've cut the budget by 100 more bucks last month and this week I'm going to try and cut it back down 50 more dollars. That will put us at 450 bucks a month on food. Which means no Chick-fil-A, no pizza, no take out or date night whatever.

Once we get our budget under control we will try and add date night back in as a  separate category.

We have talked and talked about getting rid of cable which is a significant amount of our monthly budget.

But, honestly with me being at home all day every day with the kids AND Benji heading to Brazil, I just don't think cutting out Nick jr is best for my sanity right now.

I'll be honest. This has been harder/easier than I thought. The hard part is the staying at home and not "running to Chick-fil-a " just to kill time. It's not necessarily the FOOD that is disappointing me. It's the staying home more because I can't spend money when I leave so what's the point!???? haha

I really do enjoy the trying to pull together a nutritious meal out of random ingredients challenge.

I've lost weight. We are eating better and our budget is slowing seeing improvement.

If I Was Cool

I'd have a great blog for you all tonight. 

But I am exhausted from this past weekend. We were not home except to sleep. FOR REALZ. 

It rained today and I wanted to run and jump in puddles in my new boots. 

But. I didn't. I did laundry and dishes and changed diaper and diaper and diaper. 

fed four mouths 3 meals and tried to eat and pee for myself in between. 

Now it's 9pm and all I want to do is crawl in bed until next week...or tomorrow morning. 

To cheer myself up here's a few pictures from Pinterest that make me happy. 

Me and My Babays

Emery had her Pre k3 celebration on Thursday. This is our one picture of me and the kids. I'm never, EVER in the picture. I'm always the one taking it.

Any whooooo.....loooks like someone needs to start RUNNING!

I just see these as my "plump, fertile, years.".

LOVE MY BABIES. I wouldn't trade a bikini body for them or anything in the world. :)