I keep telling my self that this time in my life could be worse.
It could be China. Seriously.
The past two weeks have been bitter sweet. It has been great being able to be with my mom. She has helped me so much and I'm glad that she has gotten to spend time with us, but time here is time away from Benji. It has been so sad for me to think of the time that Benji has lost with Emery. She is changing every day and growing so fast.
Hopefully in the next few weeks we will be able to find a furnished apartment in Greenville and finally be a family again.
I had my six week check up today.
Breastfeeding is not as natural as everyone says it is.
All babies are not born knowing exactly what to do. Not every woman can do it. I have a prolactin deficiency which is the hormone responsible for producing milk. I tried for a month, and made about a half of an ounce per breast.....Emery was eating 4 ounces at about two and 1/2 weeks....that's per feeding.
Do the math. Breastfeeding for me meant I had one hungry and unhappy baby. Add on top of the lack of milk a baby with a "suck that could take the paint off the walls"(which was a direct quote from my lactation consultant).
I did everything I could for a month. I saw a lactation consultant seven times in three weeks. I took the Chinese herb fenugreek, two capsules four times a day. I took reglan, a medicine prescribed for reflux but also used to help increase prolactin levels, three times a day for 14 days. I pumped and fed every 2 to 2 and 1/2 hours, then every 3 hours....
I heard people say, "breastfeeding is natural, I mean women in Africa don't have formula....."
Well that's why babies die in Africa.
That's my spill. I'm still emotional about it. So don't ask how it's going. And don't ask other new mothers how breastfeeding is going. It's none of any ones business and it is a very touchy subject for mothers who can't.
Emery is gaining weight and she is beautiful. And we love each other. Which is what matters.
Besides, I was formula fed and I'm brilliant.
Benji's new job is awesome. He LOVES it. He has a real office too. I'm so excited to get to Greenville and start hanging out with the youth.
I started Weight Watchers this week. Again. For the 3rd time. Last time I did it, about four years ago I lost 20lbs. This time I need to loose....oh, about 40lbs.
I am stinkin excited about McCain/Palin. I'm pretty sure Palin is my hero.
Can't wait for the new T.V. season to start. You know you all are excited too. House, Greys, Biggest Loser, and Dancing With The Stars......
I've never watched dancing with the stars, but this season I will because of Rocco Dispirito.
And okay, Kim Kardashian.
Well, I think I've covered every major topic that's been running through my head. I have to condense it all and post it all at once. Newborns take a lot of time.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Life Matters
So when I heard the news about who McCain had chosen for his running mate I was immediately reminded of reading an article about Gov. Palin awhile back on Dr. Mohler's blog. I've cut and pasted it here for you. It is definitely worth the read. If you don't frequent Dr. Mohler's blog, you should. You can find the link in my blog roll to the left of my page.
I believe that Palin is a brilliant choice for more reasons than one.
Plus she is a lifetime member of the NRA. Which should make my husband happy.
Which also means she'd never accidentally shoot her friend with a pellet gun on a duck hunt....
A little boy with an extra chromosome was born on April 18. His name is Trig Paxson Van Palin and his new home is the Alaska Governor's Mansion in Juneau. His mom is Governor Sarah Palin, who along with her husband Todd, has welcomed Trig as their second son and fifth child.
Governor Palin has already made a mark on the political scene. A high school basketball star and beauty queen, she was elected Alaska's governor in 2006. She is often mentioned as a potential running mate for Sen. John McCain. The Palins' other children include Track, their oldest son, who now serves in the U.S. Army. They also have three daughters, Bristol, Willow, and Piper.
Trig made news long before he was born, as Alaska's citizens learned that their governor was pregnant. Then, for the Palins, the story got more complicated.
This past December, Sarah Palin was told that her baby was likely to have Down syndrome -- just one extra chromosome.
As the Associated Press reports:
The doctor's announcement in December, when Palin was four months pregnant, presented her with a possible life- and career-changing development.
"I've never had problems with my other pregnancies, so I was shocked," said Palin.
"It took a while to open up the book that the doctor gave me about children with Down syndrome, and a while to log on to the Web site and start reading facts about the situation."
When he was told, Todd Palin quickly said, "We shouldn't be asking, 'Why us?' We should be saying, 'Well, why not us?'"
The Palins never considered aborting the baby. That means that Trig Palin is now is a very rare group of very special children, because it is now believed that the vast majority of babies diagnosed with Down syndrome before birth are being aborted.
Modern diagnostic tests are driving a "search and destroy mission" to eliminate babies judged to be inferior, disabled, or deformed. Some experts now believe that up to 90 percent of all pregnancies diagnosed as having a likelihood of Down syndrome end in abortion.
Back in 2005, ethicist George Neumayr commented: "Each year in America fewer and fewer disabled infants are born. The reason is eugenic abortion. Doctors and their patients use prenatal technology to screen unborn children for disabilities, then they use that information to abort a high percentage of them. Without much scrutiny or debate, a eugenics designed to weed out the disabled has become commonplace."
The Palins would not even consider aborting their baby. "We've both been very vocal about being pro-life," Governor Palin said. "We understand that every innocent life has wonderful potential."
She loves her baby boy and is proud of him. "I'm looking at him right now, and I see perfection," Palin told the Associated Press. "Yeah, he has an extra chromosome. I keep thinking, in our world, what is normal and what is perfect?"
Some ethicists now go so far as to argue for a "duty" to abort a baby with a Down diagnosis. This is an assault upon the dignity of every human being. The fact that so few Down syndrome babies now make it to birth is a sign that America is making its own pact with the Culture of Death.
Trig Paxson Van Palin has an extra chromosome, two proud and loving parents, four very happy siblings, and he will bring his own joy to untold numbers of lives.
He will face some unique challenges, but he has a loving family who will face those with him. They will learn together the wonder and beauty of a Down syndrome child and will learn to see the glory of God in his trusting face.
Mothers Day 2008 is certain to be a special day in the Alaska Governor's Mansion. What an unspeakable tragedy that so many other homes will have aborted that joy.
Welcome to the world, Trig Paxson Van Palin. Your very existence defies the Culture of Death and gives us all hope._____________________
I believe that Palin is a brilliant choice for more reasons than one.
Plus she is a lifetime member of the NRA. Which should make my husband happy.
Which also means she'd never accidentally shoot her friend with a pellet gun on a duck hunt....
A little boy with an extra chromosome was born on April 18. His name is Trig Paxson Van Palin and his new home is the Alaska Governor's Mansion in Juneau. His mom is Governor Sarah Palin, who along with her husband Todd, has welcomed Trig as their second son and fifth child.
Governor Palin has already made a mark on the political scene. A high school basketball star and beauty queen, she was elected Alaska's governor in 2006. She is often mentioned as a potential running mate for Sen. John McCain. The Palins' other children include Track, their oldest son, who now serves in the U.S. Army. They also have three daughters, Bristol, Willow, and Piper.
Trig made news long before he was born, as Alaska's citizens learned that their governor was pregnant. Then, for the Palins, the story got more complicated.
This past December, Sarah Palin was told that her baby was likely to have Down syndrome -- just one extra chromosome.
As the Associated Press reports:
The doctor's announcement in December, when Palin was four months pregnant, presented her with a possible life- and career-changing development.
"I've never had problems with my other pregnancies, so I was shocked," said Palin.
"It took a while to open up the book that the doctor gave me about children with Down syndrome, and a while to log on to the Web site and start reading facts about the situation."
When he was told, Todd Palin quickly said, "We shouldn't be asking, 'Why us?' We should be saying, 'Well, why not us?'"
The Palins never considered aborting the baby. That means that Trig Palin is now is a very rare group of very special children, because it is now believed that the vast majority of babies diagnosed with Down syndrome before birth are being aborted.
Modern diagnostic tests are driving a "search and destroy mission" to eliminate babies judged to be inferior, disabled, or deformed. Some experts now believe that up to 90 percent of all pregnancies diagnosed as having a likelihood of Down syndrome end in abortion.
Back in 2005, ethicist George Neumayr commented: "Each year in America fewer and fewer disabled infants are born. The reason is eugenic abortion. Doctors and their patients use prenatal technology to screen unborn children for disabilities, then they use that information to abort a high percentage of them. Without much scrutiny or debate, a eugenics designed to weed out the disabled has become commonplace."
The Palins would not even consider aborting their baby. "We've both been very vocal about being pro-life," Governor Palin said. "We understand that every innocent life has wonderful potential."
She loves her baby boy and is proud of him. "I'm looking at him right now, and I see perfection," Palin told the Associated Press. "Yeah, he has an extra chromosome. I keep thinking, in our world, what is normal and what is perfect?"
Some ethicists now go so far as to argue for a "duty" to abort a baby with a Down diagnosis. This is an assault upon the dignity of every human being. The fact that so few Down syndrome babies now make it to birth is a sign that America is making its own pact with the Culture of Death.
Trig Paxson Van Palin has an extra chromosome, two proud and loving parents, four very happy siblings, and he will bring his own joy to untold numbers of lives.
He will face some unique challenges, but he has a loving family who will face those with him. They will learn together the wonder and beauty of a Down syndrome child and will learn to see the glory of God in his trusting face.
Mothers Day 2008 is certain to be a special day in the Alaska Governor's Mansion. What an unspeakable tragedy that so many other homes will have aborted that joy.
Welcome to the world, Trig Paxson Van Palin. Your very existence defies the Culture of Death and gives us all hope._____________________
Sunday, August 17, 2008
August 4, 2001
With all the comotion of coming home on August 4th with Emery, I forgot to mention that it was our 7th anniversary.
What a great gift we gave each other this year!
We have had an amazing time together in seven years. We have traveled the world, explored new cities, studied our brains out! Moved three times, and have just had a blast being each others constant companions and best friends.
We've had an amazing seven years, but I know the best are yet to come.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Life as I know it
Emery is cute. I aint gonna lie. but sometimes her cuteness is overshadowed by her dramatic grumpy old man-ness.....
This is the grumpy old man face we see about 100 times a day. Usually comes out when she's wet, poopy, hungry or just needing some attention. The early makings of a diva I'm sure.
Life as I know it has changed. The past 16 days have been the hardest most overwhelming days of my life.
I've had major surgery. I've had NO sleep. And the WORST constipation of my life. They forget to tell you that the wonder drug percoset that quiets all your pain also slows your bowels down to a stopping point....
Emery is able to "suck the paint off the walls"...a direct quote from the lactation consultant I've seen five times in 2 weeks. Unfortunately for me that means the part of my anatomy that is her food source looked like they'd been through a meat grinder. So I'm investing in a breast pump.
Did I mention we are moving in 15 days.
Yeah. 15.
And not just down the road. I mean MOVING.
Packing up boxes and listing our condo hasn't been so easy with a newborn who NEEDS to be held during the day to sleep. And must eat every 2 to 2 and 1/2 hours.
I wonder if Starbucks wants me back?
This is the grumpy old man face we see about 100 times a day. Usually comes out when she's wet, poopy, hungry or just needing some attention. The early makings of a diva I'm sure.
Life as I know it has changed. The past 16 days have been the hardest most overwhelming days of my life.
I've had major surgery. I've had NO sleep. And the WORST constipation of my life. They forget to tell you that the wonder drug percoset that quiets all your pain also slows your bowels down to a stopping point....
Emery is able to "suck the paint off the walls"...a direct quote from the lactation consultant I've seen five times in 2 weeks. Unfortunately for me that means the part of my anatomy that is her food source looked like they'd been through a meat grinder. So I'm investing in a breast pump.
Did I mention we are moving in 15 days.
Yeah. 15.
And not just down the road. I mean MOVING.
Packing up boxes and listing our condo hasn't been so easy with a newborn who NEEDS to be held during the day to sleep. And must eat every 2 to 2 and 1/2 hours.
I wonder if Starbucks wants me back?
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Emery Update
We are going home on Monday!
Emery has been off of all oxygen, antibiotics and I.V. for 48 hours. They are just monitoring her until tomorrow and then we are headed home! Since she was on I.V. fluids and antibiotics she did not get to start feeding until late Friday afternoon. She was taking formula because they wanted to make sure her sugar levels were good. Today (Sunday) we will begin breastfeeding.
It's been a long week, but we are so thankful for all the prayers and concern.
We are also so thankful for Baptist East and for Women's First. My Dr's intuition along with the providence of God saved Emery's life.
For those of you who haven't heard, I went in on Wednesday for my weekly visit. I mentioned to the Nurse Practitioner that I "just didn't feel well" that day. She decided that since I was so far along that it would be best to do a NST, (non stress test) on Emery to see if everything was okay.
The NST came back "inconclusive" meaning that they didn't see anything that was alarming, but they did not see the things they like to see that would be reassuring that everything was alright.
They decided that it would be best if they did an ultrasound to look at some specific things. They looked at Emery's heart rate, her reflexes, practice breathing and her reaction to sound, they also looked at the placenta. Everything by ultrasound standards looked good, but my doctor still thought I should go to labor and delivery to have a stronger NST test done.
The NST test measures the amount of variability in Emery's heart rate. Her heart rate was normal, but it was not responding to stress by going up or down, which is what healthy babies do. Her heart rate was just staying at a normal rate. So she decided that the best thing to do would be to induce labor since I was so close to my due date. She felt very uncomfortable sending me home, even though everything could be okay she didn't want to risk it not being.
We started with a medicine that would dilate my cervix so that they could then give me the medicine to start contractions. The cervix dilation takes 12 hours so we were ready to hang out for the night and expected for labor to start in the morning.
After 4 hours on the medication my Dr. decided that Emery's heart rate was still not fluctuating enough for her to be comfortable with me going through labor. So about 1 a.m she told us we would be delivering by C-section within the hour. At 2:39 Emery was here.
Every thing seemed normal when she was born. She had a lot of fluid in her lungs, which is common in C- section babies. They took her to the nursery with Benji trailing behind. My mom and sister had arrived and were there to watch her through the window. Apparently while they were watching them do standard testing Emery went into respiratory distress. They rushed her into the back to the special care unit. They put her on oxygen and began to try and find out what was wrong. Throughout the testing we found that she was anemic, had a slight heart murmur and low oxygen levels.
They ran a number of blood test to see why her red blood cell count was so low and found out that my placenta had partially abrupted at some point which led to Emery loosing her blood for an unknown amount of time while still in the womb.
This loss of blood is what resulted in her anemia. We were relieved in a sense to know that since this was the problem her red blood cell count would not continue to drop. But it was scary to know that all this took place without us knowing.
She would have not survived a vaginal delivery. We are trying hard not to think about all the "what ifs". God is so good! Emery is going to be completely fine and have no lasting problems from the anemia and low oxygen levels. The low oxygen levels were a result of fluid in her lungs, and from the low red blood cells. The fluid was a result of the c- section, because vaginal births usually help push out the fluid during delivery. The heart murmur was also something that occurs occasionally in c-sec. babies. All babies in the womb have a slight murmur that closes with birth. They tested Emery again the next couple of days and the murmur had disappeared. She was on antibiotics as just a precaution but all the test came back normal showing no infection.
I am doing great. I am just so thankful that my precious baby is healthy. She is perfect of course and the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. We have many more pictures that will be showing up soon.
Thanks again for all the prayers. Please continue to lift us up as we start the process of heading home. We can't wait for everyone to meet her!
Benji, Kristi and Emery.
Emery has been off of all oxygen, antibiotics and I.V. for 48 hours. They are just monitoring her until tomorrow and then we are headed home! Since she was on I.V. fluids and antibiotics she did not get to start feeding until late Friday afternoon. She was taking formula because they wanted to make sure her sugar levels were good. Today (Sunday) we will begin breastfeeding.
It's been a long week, but we are so thankful for all the prayers and concern.
We are also so thankful for Baptist East and for Women's First. My Dr's intuition along with the providence of God saved Emery's life.
For those of you who haven't heard, I went in on Wednesday for my weekly visit. I mentioned to the Nurse Practitioner that I "just didn't feel well" that day. She decided that since I was so far along that it would be best to do a NST, (non stress test) on Emery to see if everything was okay.
The NST came back "inconclusive" meaning that they didn't see anything that was alarming, but they did not see the things they like to see that would be reassuring that everything was alright.
They decided that it would be best if they did an ultrasound to look at some specific things. They looked at Emery's heart rate, her reflexes, practice breathing and her reaction to sound, they also looked at the placenta. Everything by ultrasound standards looked good, but my doctor still thought I should go to labor and delivery to have a stronger NST test done.
The NST test measures the amount of variability in Emery's heart rate. Her heart rate was normal, but it was not responding to stress by going up or down, which is what healthy babies do. Her heart rate was just staying at a normal rate. So she decided that the best thing to do would be to induce labor since I was so close to my due date. She felt very uncomfortable sending me home, even though everything could be okay she didn't want to risk it not being.
We started with a medicine that would dilate my cervix so that they could then give me the medicine to start contractions. The cervix dilation takes 12 hours so we were ready to hang out for the night and expected for labor to start in the morning.
After 4 hours on the medication my Dr. decided that Emery's heart rate was still not fluctuating enough for her to be comfortable with me going through labor. So about 1 a.m she told us we would be delivering by C-section within the hour. At 2:39 Emery was here.
Every thing seemed normal when she was born. She had a lot of fluid in her lungs, which is common in C- section babies. They took her to the nursery with Benji trailing behind. My mom and sister had arrived and were there to watch her through the window. Apparently while they were watching them do standard testing Emery went into respiratory distress. They rushed her into the back to the special care unit. They put her on oxygen and began to try and find out what was wrong. Throughout the testing we found that she was anemic, had a slight heart murmur and low oxygen levels.
They ran a number of blood test to see why her red blood cell count was so low and found out that my placenta had partially abrupted at some point which led to Emery loosing her blood for an unknown amount of time while still in the womb.
This loss of blood is what resulted in her anemia. We were relieved in a sense to know that since this was the problem her red blood cell count would not continue to drop. But it was scary to know that all this took place without us knowing.
She would have not survived a vaginal delivery. We are trying hard not to think about all the "what ifs". God is so good! Emery is going to be completely fine and have no lasting problems from the anemia and low oxygen levels. The low oxygen levels were a result of fluid in her lungs, and from the low red blood cells. The fluid was a result of the c- section, because vaginal births usually help push out the fluid during delivery. The heart murmur was also something that occurs occasionally in c-sec. babies. All babies in the womb have a slight murmur that closes with birth. They tested Emery again the next couple of days and the murmur had disappeared. She was on antibiotics as just a precaution but all the test came back normal showing no infection.
I am doing great. I am just so thankful that my precious baby is healthy. She is perfect of course and the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. We have many more pictures that will be showing up soon.
Thanks again for all the prayers. Please continue to lift us up as we start the process of heading home. We can't wait for everyone to meet her!
Benji, Kristi and Emery.
Friday, August 1, 2008
No More Tubes!
Emery is going to be fine, but we did have some scares in the beginning. God is good and faithful. I will post more of the story later, but until then i know you all could not wait to see more pictures of the cutest baby in the world.
Please continue to pray for us and for Emery. Pray that God heals mom and baby completely.
Love to you all. Kristi, Benji and Emery.
Please continue to pray for us and for Emery. Pray that God heals mom and baby completely.
Love to you all. Kristi, Benji and Emery.
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